Style Rules for Condiments



Style goddess Coco Chanel said, “Before you walk out the door take one thing off.” Bottom line, don’t over accessorize.

How do relish and fashion advice fit together?, you ask.

I see condiments as accessories to, say, hot dogs. They are unnecessary but add some “interest” to an outfit, as Stacy London puts it. The only condiment I care for on hot dogs is mustard, and I could actually take or leave hot dogs, period (I promise I’m not Communist).

Again, using hot dogs as a metaphor, some people go condiment crazy, which, in my book, is a no no-no. Dad is an offender. We now have a Portillo’s (if there are readers in the Chicago area they know the restaurant I’m talking about). If he gets a hot dog or bratwurst I can’t believe how cluttered his “outfit” is. Hot mustard, onions, sweet peppers, hot peppers. Over accessorized 101.

So, whether we are talking about fashion or hot dogs, in my opinion, we need to follow the old less is more rule. It’s just good taste.

Bridge Over Troubling Waters

Mom and I really look forward to “Project Runway” every week, which we watch on the TV in the kitchen. Friday at lunch. It’s almost a tradition. We critique the fashions and make predictions. We also look for Swatch at Mood. If Dad is eating his lunch at the bar in the kitchen, he gets glimpses of the show and provides commentary, which usually isn’t flattering.

I admit that I’m not the most creative. How can the designers get a challenge, two minutes later begin to sketch, thirty minutes later get fabric. And the challenges! The one that sticks out in my mind was where the designers had to create a dress that would look pretty under black light.

The worst for me would be the avant guarde challenge, although I would definitely say “uncle” before point. One of those challenges was to create a dress that’s inspired by a New York City bridge. All of the avant guarde dresses come out bizarre, but I guess that’s the definition of avant guarde.


This dress won the “bridge” challenge. See what I mean?

Maybe the moral is this: I think it would be fun to be a designer, but you have to have an ounce of creativity. Guess not.

Ah, The Memories…

I was born in the eighties. Hair was high and the “fashions” left something to be desired. The nineties weren’t much better fashion wise, but the nineties were where I spent my childhood.



I am about to turn 33 (how is that possible!?) and for readers around my age, I thought I’d take you on a journey along memory lane.

Do you remember:

  1. Sturrip pants
  2. American Girl dolls (My sister is always looking to make a quick buck. She wants to put hers on Craigslist, but Mom refuses.)
  3. “Where’s Waldo”
  4. Koosh
  5. “Goosebumps”
  6. Polly Pocket
  7. Zoobooks
  8. LipSmacker
  9. Mini backpacks
  10. Friendship bracelets
  11. Pogs
  12. Squeezit
  13. Scrunchies
  14. The Oregon Trail game
  15. Sanrio Surprises
  16. “Operation!”
  17. Lunchables

What are some of your childhood favorites?

She’s Wearing That??!!

I was born in the 80s; 1983 to be exact. The 80s have the reputation of being a fashion disaster. Just watch “The Goldberg’s” on ABC: shoulder pads, high hair (thanks, Aqua Net), and parachute pants. One word: NIIICE.

The 70s weren’t much better, although I wasn’t even a thought in Mom or Dad’s mind so I don’t know firsthand. But two words: bell and bottoms.

Now the 60s—early 60s actually—50s, and 40s are the fashion trends that I wish would come back. I watch shows like Mad Men and my newest favorite, The Astronaut Wives Club, and think they have the cutest wardrobes.

The three time periods have one thing in common when it comes to fashion: modesty. Think of knee-length dresses, or skirts of the same length. There would be a blouse, and possibly a cardigan sweater. Any jewelry would be understated—less is more.

Why can’t women’s fashion today be like that? Just as an example, I put “2015 Fashion Trends” in a search on Pinterest. What did I find? Ripped jeans, baggy cargo pants, and billowing tops. The jewelry was gaudy. More was more.

So when people talk about “The good ol’ days,” I doubt they are talking about fashion, but in my humble opinion, they could have.